To you who's wondering if it's ok:
It is ok. It is.
It's ok if you don't know for sure. It's ok if you're not totally prepared. It's ok if you're still a bit confused and move forward anyway. It's ok to take that job. It's ok to say, "no thanks." It's ok for your heart to mingle with two people at the same time....yikes! It's ok to jump in head first.
It's ok, because you were made to live.
You were made to live in this moment, in this age, in this year, in that house, in that car, with this president, with those friends, with that job, in that church, with these decisions.
He created you to worship him right now. You know how you do that?
You give thanks and enjoy the gifts.
You do that thing and talk to that person and go on that date and take that job and work in that nursery and ace that test and go for a bike ride and skip down the street and sing to loud music and dream really big dreams.
There's a reason he is supernatural and we are not. As we live, the Holy Spirit works through us. We can't do his part. We have to do the living part.
This does not totally sum up our roles as Jesus lovers, but if you find yourself fretting over little things, and big things even, please come back to this thought.
Don't wish you were someplace else with someone else doing something else.
Live now. Here.
Tomorrow doesn't exist.
"Don't worry or be anxious about anything. But prayerfully, with thanksgiving, tell God what your heart desires. And His peace that cannot be understood will wash all over you and calm your heart and mind."
This is the place I most often find myself. I wish I could tell you I was a few years (moths, at the very least) older with plans to marry soon and foster all the love-starved babies of the world.
I really wish I could tell you that.
Or maybe tell you that I know how to discern this situation with this person because then I might could predict the outcome and prepare better.
Or maybe still tell you that I know what I want to pursue in college and I'm totally ready for that new chapter and I'm not second-guessing myself at all.
But I can't tell you those things.
What I can tell you is that I'm still very much so a senior in highschool waiting eagerly like a child for that diploma I've worked so hard for. I have no idea what to expect in every relationship and I'm still waiting for mr. future husband to come along and love on the babies with me. I haven't a clue as to what I'll be majoring in come this fall and I don't know if I even want to go to college but what else would I do anyway?
It's ok to have my problems or problems like them. It's called living.
And when you're living for the Creator of the very breath you take, trust me- you're doing it right. Just keep on living.